Red

Red is wild and Red is free,
Cruising down the road at a hundred and three.
Red is bold; Red stays out late.
Red believes the law can wait.
Red is danger but it’s no big deal.
Don’t you like the way Red makes you feel?

Yet we’re scared when Red sets fire,
Easy to burn and quick to conspire.
Red can be deep and all-consuming;
Even ashes can leave Red fuming.
Once in the path of Red,
Many tend to lose their head.

See, Red traps you in the flames;
Even your sins can’t find their names.
Red sits you down and whispers sweet lies
And it’s hard for you to meet Red’s eyes.
As much as you want Red to be blamed,
You know why you feel ashamed.

That day you can remember so vividly now,
When Red came knocking at your door with a bow.
“May I come in?” Coaxed Red.
“Sure!” You grinned and nodded your head.
And you were simply that easy;
The thought of it just makes you queasy.

Red didn’t barge in or beat down a door.
No. You invited Red in, because you wanted more.
So God, why stop now if Red is just getting started?
“We are gathered here today for the dearly departed…”

This poem has such a deep and profound meaning behind it, but perhaps it’s a story I’ll tell for another day. In short, I wanted to capture the inner demons I tried facing independently during a particular night. It starts out describing how Red is passionate, wild, fun, free, addicting, tempting, daring, convincing, greedy, deceitful, dangerous, and rebellious. I justify living a reckless lifestyle, but in reality it makes me anything but wreck-less. Every choice has a consequence, and I have a hard time reconciling with my conscious when I make bad decisions. Eventually, we let these demons control our lives. We feel scared, helpless and trapped, yet we were the ones who sought out trouble in the first place. So why stop if it’s just an endless cycle of sinning? We question God for pain and for suffering in the world, but how is that fair if we can’t even face our own fears? We risk losing a war with our soul, because we want an easy fix for the here-and-now. I may not always live the way a “good Christian” should, but I’m learning how to face my demons. I don’t know. I guess the older I get, the more grey I find in the world. As a little girl, I always thought the problems of the world were black-and-white. Decisions were easy and morals were clear.

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